The morning began well. Cruz jumped up on the coach, laid down with his head in my lap. So it went for about 90 minutes while I watched last nights 60 Minutes and the first half of a Bundesliga game.
It was a great start to the day, especially because of the challenging night before. My mother was having hallucinations and experiencing episodes of paranoia. Age, cataracts, glaucoma and Macular Degeneration is a bad combination. Now throw in what may be the onset of dementia and you have the recipe for some very interesting conversations.
Considering the Vivid Recollections I’ve had during my hospital stay, you’d think I’d relate, understand and take it all in stride. Wrong. She’s my mother and she was directly attacking my integrity, honesty and trust. I know, or should know, better. I’m working on it.
The day ended on a very down and depressing note. It stayed with me when I woke in the morning. 🙁
As for me, my surgeon, at the appointment I had on Friday, found more tunneling in my stomach wound. He tried to assure me it wasn’t serious. Yeah. While it may not be physically a threat to my long term health. It was a body blow to my emotional health. My body is not happy, and is rejecting the upper mesh used when closing up my stomach. Like the tunnels a few months ago, they will heal. If, however, they return, the surgeon may need to remove the upper mesh (it’s apparently not critical) and give me a wound vac to facilitate healing. When he suggested that after the first tunnels were found, I cried as, in my mind, put me back in the hospital. It wouldn’t, but it would mean I’d be carrying the wound vac around with me until the wound “dried up”. This time, when he mentioned it, I didn’t cry. Is that a sign that I’m more emotionally sound? Or is it I’ve become fatalistic with my future?
I don’t need this.
I’m back to having a visiting nurse dressing my wound 3 times a week again. The good news is the nurse, Bob, is very good.