Coping has been a challenge

Coping has been a challenge

Coping has been a challenge.  I’m approaching a year since leaving hospital after having “lived” there for almost 6 months.  My last surgery was in June, 8 months ago.  Parts of my life will never be the same.  Eating a hand full of Creon each day to supplement the 90% loss of my Pancreas, not able to drink a glass of wine to relax, something I need now more than ever.   Needing to avoid some of my favorite foods or suffer nearly intolerable abdominal and bowel pain.  Numbness in my thigh and butt, the feeling of a plank of wood resting on my gut.  Coping has been a challenge.

Something I hadn’t expected was my body partially rejecting some of my hernia repair.  This resulted in a wound along the “zipper” in my abdomen where fluids burst through.  This wound has been with me now since early August, 2017.  This wan’t just your run on the mill ordinary wound.  It came with tunnels.  Multiple tunnels burrowing from the wound into multiple areas of my abdomen.  The tunnels had to be packed with to wick away fluids.  The wound itself required to be dressed with multiple “things”.  It didn’t hurt, but it did making showering a difficult and when we finally had a chance to get away, next to impossible to go in a swimming pool or hot tub.

There were times where the surgeon thought it was healing only to find as the original tunnels closed new ones opened.  Three weeks ago I was meeting with the surgeon and he told me the wound was on the “cusp” of healing.  He had me make an appointment for 3 weeks later, but he thought I might be able to cancel it as he expected the drainage to stop and wound heal.  Well today was that appointment.  Not only did the wound not heal, but a new tunnel, 3cm deep has opened.  Coping has been a challenge.  The new tunnel must be packed and I’m going back to see the surgeon in 3 weeks.  I persuaded him to have a visiting nurse do the packing as, what this is all about, I’m struggling to cope.

Contributing, in no small way, is the continued challenges with caring for my mother.  As tough as it’s been, it could be worse if my wife hadn’t been helping when it’s clear I’m struggling.

Coping sucks.


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